Whitney Houston we dedicate this to you and your legacy....... Another celebrity teaches us they are not exempt from the deadly consequences of a toxic lifestyle......No matter how much fame and money we have the results will be the same on our body if we abuse it. Drug abuse or alcoholism kills men and women everyday. But why? Did Whitney have the "addiction gene"  ????

Were you born with the "addiction gene"?????

So, who did you inherit those beautiful brown eyes from? Or are they BLUE? Or that nose? Or is it THIQ? For those born with THIQ then "sobriety" is the only way free.

THIQ? = Tetrahyroisoquinoline. In a jist of a story, there is a recent scientific proven fact why some in the family have inherited the addiction gene and some have NOT! Basically, either you have it or you don't! Trouble is, the only thing that activates this inherited chemical THIQ component into full blown alcoholism or your drug of choice addiction is a one time consumption of you take your pick: Alcohol!


If you have this gene it explains why some people can drink sensibly and why some CANNOT and are powerless over alcohol or their drug of choice. It is the difference between the "addict" and the "normie". For some folks, it is just not their fault they are like this. But it is their responsibilty to grasp their own sobriety. They are the ones that can never touch it. Makes so much sense really. So no matter what, as Father Martin says, we must urge our addict into what works. A 12 Step Recovery and/or treatment of SOBRIETY !! This is why the struggling loving family member of the addict can say, "I didn't cause it, I can't control it, and I can't cure it!" No matter how hard we try! What this gives the family member, is a respect for the nature of the disease. We can respond with love and firm boundaries NOT to enable. Instead with our tools in place we can lovingly contribute to the person to hit their own bottom to choose LIFE and HELP via treatment. Thank goodness for Ala-Non and its community of support for the frustrated and exasperated family members of the alcoholic! It's going to be OK! ............

Nothing going to break hearts more than seeing the one you love using and determined to be "OUT THERE"




I can't, but HE can, so I think I'll let HIM..... handle it! And that is all I know.

Take a minute to have a little schooling on what Alcohol might do to us...

OR NOT!  :-/

Take a New View!

.

DO you ever feel like; " My life is circling the drain!?!"

Take a new VIEW!   See life from a different perspective!  We cannot keep doing the same thing and expect a different result!  We will keep getting the same thing if we keep doing what we have always done.    What are the people saying about me?  Ask your HIGHER POWER for guidance and direction.  Be willing to surrender to the process of renewal.  With GOD, ALL things are possible!  I can turn to HIM to be my help in time of trouble a little faster than I used too.  If it's NOT working, then it's something I am doing wrong!!  

Let HIS light shine on the dark secret places you have not yet surrendered and then hold on to your hat!  Its going to rock and you will kick yourself for not surrendering the secret thing far sooner!  Everything is going to be all right!  YOU are going to make it!  One step at a time, work the steps!  It works, if you work it!  Love never fails!


The 8 recovery principles that will work in any defect of character issue!

Study the 12 STEPS and FIND a meeting! We can't do this alone!

•Step 1 - We admitted we were powerless over our addiction (OR COMPULSIONS) - that our lives had become unmanageable

•Step 2 - Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity

•Step 3 - Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God

•Step 4 - Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves

•Step 5 - Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs

•Step 6 - Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character

•Step 7 - Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings

•Step 8 - Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all

•Step 9 - Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others

•Step 10 - Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it

•Step 11 - Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out

•Step 12 - Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other folks like "US", and to practice these principles in all our affairsPlease click on a link for a step to see how that step has worked for other people.

Get connected with people JUST like YOU!  Meet with others who struggle with the same issue as you!
Find a meeting near your home!!

Nothing better than a song to say how it works! One STEP at a time! Enjoy! Bryan Duncan and check out RADIO REHAB for online RECOVERYsupport and encouragement any time of day or Night!!!!  RADIOREHAB your best friend when there is no one else around!

Do you have peace?  Do you sleep with sweet dreams?  Can you get rest?  Do you feel joy?

Simple questions but for some we can't answer YES to a single one of those .   Our lives are spent spinning our wheels, wasting energy on futile attempts to control others, situations, events, places or things.  We are angry, resentful and bitter or we are burning with jealousy over another's success or joyful life. We are controlling, we expect others to do things as we think they should be done or we are mad that they won't do it right according to our own distorted perceptions. We follow, set traps or stalk people waiting for them to fail or do it wrong and so then we feel,

"we are entitled" to tell them off as we see fit. On and on the negative energy spews forth from our inner being, driving others, screaming off into the night, away from us because of our personal insanities we are tormented with.  To be associated with us is like swallowing poison!  Unpleasant to everyone but sadly, we don't see it!

Self-Test Clue: is this you?

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.  ~Dave Barry,

So, where do we draw the line with people "doing it wrong" all the time? 
#1 Let people LIVE!
 #2 Mind your own business! 

We are the insane ones to be the "activity police" of someone else's behaviors.  Let it go and take our OWN control issues to a support group before we destroy every decent relationship we have.  We have got to find out what drives us with such grandiosity to think, " it's my way or they are an idiot" mentality.  It's not them.  It is US, we are the sick ones needing help.  Save yourself and get into recovery today while you still have any friends.  Even if ALREADY, nobody likes being around you GET HELP ANYWAY.  Support groups or a therapist for anger issues and severe controlling tendencies are available in 12-step recovery.   Try a Celebrate Recovery near you.  Miracles are happening there and you can be set free and live a life of joy and peace!  It's true there is HOPE!

Crazy Seal Beach Salon Murders

What? Why?  HOW does someone shoot their child's MOM and 8 innocent people?  How do we make sense of life's darkest tragedy's?   How does healing and restoration begin?  What do these things teach us?

#1 We live in a poisoned and toxic world.
#2 Don't be caught DEAD without Jesus!
#3 There is this temporary life and then FOREVER comes after we each, like it or NOT, sooner later,     we will leave this world.

If you were to die today, are you READY to meet the Almighty in the condition you are in? Yes or NO?
God does promise to take all things and work them for good for those who are in Christ Jesus.  That includes all the things, that seem unforgiveable, that we ourselves have done.

We pray that these people involved and who are affected receive everything that they need. Help,grace and mercy that can only come from our Higher Power.  Amen

For more on this sad story:

http://www.presstelegram.com/ci_19124255?source=rv

Resentful are we?????

DON'T GIVE UP!
JUST for today
TURN IT OVER
and surrender to God's will for YOU! 
It's gonna be way better than you think!
Find someplace to be alone and read and pray and sunshine doesn't hurt either!

• WHY do we get in SELF- DESTRUCT mode anyway?
• 
  
  Hopefully it's only out of sheer ignorance. This site will change all that for you now. At some point we will become accountable for what we know.
  
  Perhaps we have trigger buttons that get pushed that cause us to compulsively do what we know isn't good for us. These triggers can be from something from childhood, a memory or hurt that makes us feel a certain way so that we must self medicate to comfort ourselves. Sounds deep, like mumbo jumbo but perhaps it's something to consider ...why we do what we do? Or why do we eat what we eat? So why do we eat, drink, or smoke our way into a crippling illness?!?
• Consider the idea of H.A.L.T. behind wrongful eating choices etc:
• HUNGARY? ANGRY? LONELY? TIRED?
• http://www.newlife.com/Articles/article.asp?libid=172
• 
  Depression Tips:Get help. Have a new plan and recognize the tendency to be depressed. Watch for the red flags and take action whether genetics or past loss or abuse; get therapy to work through it. Take meds, say YES to drugs on this one if indicated to get you balanced out or over the hump and into counseling !
  Get sunshine, rest and fresh air. Go outside! Exercise!
  Get connected in a support group. Call a friend!
  Go to church. Seek God. Pray. Read Scripture! Psalm 16.
  Give back in service somehow. Don't isolate, call a friend!
  Get healthy! Watch the triggers and lousy sugar diet triggers.
  Get new music. Go to the movies!
  Read a new book. Call a friend!
  No friends? Be a friend to someone! Ecclesiastics 4:9-12
  Go on vacation. Get a massage!
  Do something for yourself. A hobby!
  Feed the homeless!
  Find a 'safe person' (ie: therapist, sponsor) to share the secret, dark places of your heart, that hurt and that abuse that happened so long ago that you are still hiding the truth of today!
• God Bless you! Oh yeah.....Call a friend!

• 
  Educate yourself on emotional health issues from the best resources we know of:
  
  www.cloudtownsend.com
  
  See their online answers on video!! Wow! What a great Help!!

No matter how hard we try to deny it, the fruit is plain to everyone but us sometimes.  The longer we abuse what God has given the sooner our home will not be habitable. 

Sooner or later we will have to move out if we are not being a good steward of our house!  So also, should we abuse our body for years and years it will not last.  With God there is always HOPE!  With help we can get things back in order and getting back on track will breathe new life in what seemed like a hopeless scenario.  In 12 Steps we find help, hope and healing with the comfort of others who are just like us!  With some support we can get this thing trimmed back and some windows replaced and new construction repairs and it will again be filled with warmth and laughter welcoming those who need some restoration too!! Nobody would have thought it possible but MIRACLES happen in 12-Step recovery.  Keep coming back!

If it looks like a duck,

If it walks like a duck,

If it sounds like a duck.........

IT'S A DUCK!

It is NOT rocket science folks!

Have you been thinking lately it might be a duck? All that rationalizing is DENIAL!

( Even though this is a picture of geese! )

God,
Grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
and the courage to change the things I can
and I need the wisdom to know the difference!
Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace.
Taking as Jesus did this sinful world as it is, NOT as I would have it!
Trusting that you can make all things right,
as I surrender to your will so that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy forever with YOU in the next!
Amen

Having said that, What else is there to say really?

12-steps qualification QUIZ!

12-steps qualification QUIZ!

GOT hope? Hope for living is really a by-product of surrender. If we surrender our will to one who has all power to help us recover and do for us what we are unable to do for ourselves, then out of our own despair and misery springs forth hope. I place my life into the hands of my Higher Power, the King of all Kings and Lord of all Lords, yes my higher power is Jesus Christ himself! Thank God for God I always say! This boy shares a wonderful hope for our future! There is so much more to look forward to than the little bit we see here and now! Enjoy... Heaven is for REAL!

OH my! Sorry CHARLIE!
Charlie Sheen is daily acting out for us how obnoxious the toxic effects of a raging addiction can be.  So this is a reminder of what we all can look like to others when we are OUT there doing it, full of that natural narcissism, entitlement and selfishness kicked up in high gear!  Too bad he can't be cured by a good smacking to do us all a favor and just SHUT UP!  Truly, for his sake we pray his bottom comes up quickly!   All that wealth is only an empowerment to making a Bigger fool of thyself! Ouch! Sorry Charlie!

In all the celebrating someone asked, "What is your New Years resolution?"  My response in an instant is to stay as happy as we are right now!  To keep the peace I have that guides me daily. To keep it simple, enjoy life as it unfolds and to pay forward all the kindness that comes my way!   Happy New Year everyone, good things ahead for every good choice we make!

What are these ol Holiday's really all about anyway? Keep it simple: Remember to be grateful for the little things with no pricetag: Love, Life, Family, Forgiveness, Sobriety, a comfy bed, a full belly and mostly, Peace in my soul.....Selah, and ALWAYS: take your Higher Power with ya!

Ever consider yourself, "GOD"S VERY BEST LITTLE HELPER?"



There is a healthy helping others with their burdens!
But, everyone is to carry their own load! Very important!!!!
We usually get this part mixed up and help WRONG! Well, in recovery we call it ENABLING! Yes, that usually coincides with the another term "Codependent"!!! What is a hard pill to swallow is that with all our genuine efforts to help, rescue, cover, sugar-coat, control or fix someone elses character defects we actually end up "HELPING" wrong and prolonging OUR agony of someone elses addiction! That's right with our help they stay addicted even longer! The insanity that goes with it tortures us nice-self-righteous-helper types even MORE!! Hah! Are we really addicted to the addict's doings or not doings? Maybe so! So when you say you are at the meeting to be a support to your little addict think again! What we need help for is to work on our own sick issues of perhaps....enabling or codependency! To find out more go to a meeting! Our days of being someone elses activity monitor may be numbered! To let em go to crash and burn to suffer their own consequences may just be in the cards next! Keep Coming Back!!

Got some STINKIN THINKIN????

If we have experienced any kind of abuse, trauma or loss or plain bad luck we can be driven by our own stinkin thinkin into acting on our addiction or compulsions. All we need is an exuse for a pity party and to BRING it on! That is... our own methods which spiral us into circling the drain!

Best thing is to learn what stinkin thinkin is and when it is happening to stop and correct. Could be patterns of negativity statements we heard from the generations before us or our own ability to feel sorry for ourselves.

Check it out here:

http://psychcentral.com/lib/2006/the-top-10-types-of-stinkin-thinkin

http://psychcentral.com/lib/2007/what-is-catastrophizing/

Also a quick little exercise out of the "woe is me" state is to make a grateful list! Simple things to start with like waking up everyday, being able to walk and talk and spending time with the ones we love and for those who actually DO love and care about us! I am a grateful believer in Jesus Christ and stand today and everyday just
grateful to be forgiven!

Say this: Lord, I thank you that you have loved me before I could love myself. Thank you for sticking with me and protecting me from fully acting on all my stinkin thinkin! Thank you for your never ending mercy and grace and sparing me from getting all my actions may really deserve! Help me turn over now all those things in this life that have caused me pain and hurt that I cannot understand. Please, please forgive me for all the things I have done to hurt you, myself and others in my life. Help me now to fully surrender my life to you and trust you with my future. Thank you for your goodness and for doing for me what I could not do for myself! Amen.

Why is it so hard to ACKNOWLEDGE the pink elephant in the room?

The dynamics at home are different for everyone but really the toxic problem that is destroying the lives and relationships with those we love is the most difficult to confront. Why are we so afraid to step up and say, " HEY!" Why are we afraid to take the problem head on and set some boundaries to protect our peace, our happiness and our security? Isn't the potential loss from the upset offender less than what we are experiencing now? Yes, like the story of Jonah and the Whale, there was one person's direct disobedience to God that had circumstances that were harming everyone on the ship! All the innocent ones were suffering because Jonah was running from God's WILL! So guess what they did? They threw Jonah overboard to get some peace and sanity back! Guess what? NOW Jonah was God's problem (not theirs!) and God loved Jonah so much he saved his life as a whale came and swallowed him up and spit him out to safety once the misery (in the belly of the whale) did it's magic and led Jonah to repent! Then Jonah obeyed and served God and good things happened after that!

Sometimes we gotta just let go, NOT WATCH, and let GOD deal with some people before they are gonna get it. Pain, loss and sorrow will lead men to repent, not our constant rescuing, fixing, saving, covering up and certainly NOT us pretending the problem is not real! The sooner we confront the sooner a healing can happen, by the grace of GOD! Sometimes, for the one going down, they are in so much DENIAL about an issue they won't comprehend the truth until something BAD happens. That's the only way some people are gonna learn. So step away and let some miracles happen while you hide and pray! Just don't forget, TO PRAY!