There are times when we have to deal with that ugliness festering deep down inside. You know who you are if there is a pattern of hurting others with your words and actions. Is there a trail of injured souls left behind in past relationships? Is there always some kind of drama fueled by feelings of bitterness, resentment anger or jealousy? Do you really think anyone deserves your wrath when you are feeling this way over something? The beauty of a 12-Step Recovery Support Group is that we learn that these feelings are our own problem. We have to work through our own resentments and anger in a healthy way that it does not harm others. These issues are classic defects of character that each of us in our own time must address within ourselves and safely in a 12-Step recovery group. How do we not let the actions of others push us over into getting ugly ourselves? It is NOT easy but there is HOPE!
Usually, it is not until we are well into our sobriety that we have the chance to address our own defects of character. We all have them and the idea is to learn to let more go and offer grace and forgiveness easily so it doesn't cause US to do or say something we regret later. Alienating those who are closest to us is our problem, that if not reckoned with, we may find ourselves in a lonely state of isolation because everyone has HAD IT with our antics! Speaking the truth in love is a practice that takes some PRACTICE! Offering "our idea" ONLY when it is asked is not easy to do either. What if no one asks? Move on and keep on working on me is best! We all think a lot of silly things which may be toxic if it involves taking out our anger, resentment, bitterness and jealousy out on our friends and family. That is why they call it "Stinking Thinking!"
Find a safe place, a recovery group or Celebrate Recovery to deal with these defects of character, work through them so you can learn to be a nicer person to call a friend, brother, sister, son or daughter! Easy? No way! Worth while? ABSOLUTELY!
I'll pray for the people that bug me, I'll pray that they get everything that they NEED! Our Higher Power is more than willing to be the one to do for them what they cannot do for themselves. I can get out of the way and let go and let GOD and have a little fun while He does just that! I am called to live in "peace" as much as it is up to me to be at peace with all men! If YOU are going to disturb MY PEACE then I will excuse myself from the drama as should you in the same situation! That is called survival!
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